Wednesday, April 18, 2012

those days

today was one of those days.

you know those days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, hit your funny bone, put salt in your coffee instead of sugar {really though, i don't know anyone who's done that (: }...  you know those?  i would have loved to have one of those days today.  in fact, my day started off pretty well- sleeping in a bit, getting some laundry done before work, putting together a cute outfit : i was ready.

then i got to work.

300-odd emails were waiting for me.  how does that even happen??  i haven't a clue.  after i came to from the shock, i realized that my inbox was so full that i couldn't send any replies.  talk about your classic catch-22...   our IT department apparently had more pressing matters at hand, because i was put on hold, told they would check on my space issues, put on hold again, then hung up on.  rude.  finally, email up and running, i set off.  i was hot.  my fingers are flying, my phone is lighting up, i'm not sending too many of those calls to voicemail (; ...things are taking an upswing.  well, there i am- working away, hunkered over in my little cube with a look that i can only imagine is a cross between sheer terror and dogged determination on my face, and justlikethat it's 5:30. 

{note: one of the best things about my life is that i get to work with my husband.  nothing can replace driving in together, taking our morning and afternoon breaks where we walk around the building, talking, not talking, whatever we feel like...this is bliss.  i know that anytime i need a pick-me-up, all i need to do is walk 2 flights up and see the love of my life...i know i really don't have room to complain, but indulge me.}

so jordan calls me up "hey, ready to go home??" i know he's itching to get outta there, but there is that something in me that wants to stay.  work all night if i have to, because i might not survive if i have another day like today.  but, thanks to that great guy, i turn off my computer and walk away.  i feel momentarily better walking out of the building, bidding adieu to a rotten day, and then as soon as i sit down in the car i lose it.  tears, so many tears.  the people in the cars next to us were staring, i'm sure.  i couldn't help it.  it all hit me.

i have spent a fair amount of time thinking about what i'm good at, and also what i enjoy- that tenuous balance that we're all searching for, no?   i have taken a few wrong turns, been denied a good few times, learned what i'm definitely not good at, and i think i have a decent plan of attack in the works.  of course i understand that you do what you have to do to make things work for your family.  so suffice it to say, i know what i need to do, now it's just a matter of getting those ducks lined up.

in the meantime, j is cooking dinner, i'm already in my pj's and we're getting ready to go watch something mindless on tv.  later on, i'm making popcorn.  i need it.  

so here's to taking those days and turning them into a new plan.   cheers.

1 comment:

  1. I know we've lost touch over the years and I don't know too much about your likes and interests anymore. But, I DO know you're strong and determined and would be successful in many areas, whatever you choose! :) Best of luck dear! Hope the popcorn was yummy!


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