do something scary.

tonight i did something scary.

i spoke to our waiter.  i know, right?  no, wait for it.  so we went to a new mexi place after work, and after feeling really stupid for not making conversation earlier in the evening i started things up. in spanish.  i don't usually do that, despite jordan's constant prodding "why don't you say something to them?  you know how to talk to them and they obviously speak spanish..." nevermind the fact that i've been speaking spanish for almost 22 years.  yes. crazy.  i can't tell you why, but i guess for some reason i am shy about it?  who knows. 

i do know however that i've been trying almost daily to work up the courage to be more outgoing about making conversation en espanol.  i worry though: what if i mess up...what if i can't understand what they're saying...what if they think i'm a joke.  

so really at no special moment, i just started up.  the look on our waiter's {jesus} face was amazing: what is this little white girl trying to do here?...  but i kept it up.  asked about the restaurant, the name {green parrots}, how he came to be here {his sister married the owner's son}...and we just chatted.  it was casual, it was comfortable, and it was fun.  and it was also a big step.  after jesus left the table, jordan gave me a little nudge and smirked. 

i did it.  i didn't even really realize i had done it until it was over.  and i'm really happy about it.  also, i think i might have to keep an eye on myself that i don't let my newfound confidence become super annoying.  it's a fine line, i'm aware.

but for now, this is my something scary for today.  so take it for what it's worth, and go do something that scares you.  who knows: you might be all the better for it.